How To Create Your New You

How did you get to be the way you are? You invented yourself. You created your life. You are a creator.

When my coach first told me that, I was angry. How could it possibly be that the mess that was my life was my own creation? I fought that all the way. I was in a job I liked but which was killing me because of the long hours and relentless deadlines.

I was travelling to pharmaceutical conferences all over the world. Every two weeks I was in a different city in Europe, Canada, or the United States. I know that sounds glamorous, and sometimes it was, especially in the early days. But quickly, it became stressful. I always had a suitcase packed, with a duplicate of toiletries and underwear, and one suit of clothing, ready to catch the next airplane.

I worked eighteen hour days, getting by on five hours of sleep a night, and sleeping all day Sunday to try and catch up. If I was offline for more than an hour during the day, someone was texting me or calling me with an urgent question that had to be answered, “NOW”.

I saw some beautiful places like Amsterdam, Nice, and Paris caught through glimpses from the taxi ride from the airport to my hotel and the occasional “Hop on – Hop off” city bus tour. It is no fun eating dinner alone in your hotel room after a full conference day.

So much for my moaning and groaning. I was paid well. I travelled and saw the world. I had great shoes, And I drove a nice car back and forth to the airport. I was living a charmed life. Be it an empty life.

As I explained this all to my coach, I realized she was right. I had created this all myself. I took this job because it promised travel, excitement, working with key opinion leaders in medicine all over the world, and great shoes. I believed that the decisions that I had made in the past had created my life. And they had.

Then I read something by my mentor coach, Steve Chandler, that turned this thinking all around, and made it possible for me to see how I could change my life.

He said, “Your past doesn’t create the present moment. The present moment creates your life.”

If that was so, then I could start creating a new life today, this moment. He went on to illustrate it this way,

“The wake of a boat – the little waves the boat creates as it goes through the water, doesn’t drive the boat. It is the movement of the boat that creates the wake.”

I realized that at any moment, I could change the movement of the boat and create a different wake.

I could reinvent myself. And why reinvent myself, just for the fun of it? Because I can.

I had invented myself by seeking ways to escape from fear and lack. I looked for security in material things, money, global travel, powerful cars, beautiful clothes, well-educated people. But material things do not bring happiness. They didn’t for me.

What was important for me was to find the best version of me. The happy, singing, laughing version of me.

The me who spent time taking walks along the boardwalk, enjoying nature, being with family and friends, sleeping for seven or eight hours at night and waking up to exercise, meditation, and prayer.

I began to look for that joyous, happy me. And I began to create my exit to a life that had meaning and purpose for me.

You can reinvent yourself. It can be a playful practice. It’s fun. Try it.