“Nothing happens until somebody moves” – Albert Einstein, physicist, scientific philosopher
Peter had been an executive with a big engineering company in Africa but he lost his job in the recession and fell back to working on his family farm. During the Zimbabwe Government Repatriation program he lost his farm. Peter was Dutch and although his family had held this farm for centuries, suddenly — overnight, it was no longer his.
When Peter and his wife arrived in Canada, they only had the clothes on their backs and the contents of their suitcases. They settled in Southwestern Ontario, and both got jobs mucking out horse stalls on a nearby ranch. Needless to say, Peter’s confidence was considerably shaken, but not broken.
Build Your Unbreakable Confidence
There are many things you can do to re-build your confidence, but I have chosen three that standout for me in my coaching conversations with Peter. He honed his skills as a confident listener. He clarified his heart’s desire. And he created a big audacious goal and focused on making it a reality.
Confident listening is an art and a science. Listening is the gateway to becoming a person of influence; a true leader. Confident listening is essential to building confidence in yourself, as well as in your listener.
Connecting to and committing to your heart’s desire allows you to go forward in building a business and a life with precision and ease.
When you pursue your big audacious goals and accomplish goal after goal in creating a life and business you love, your self-esteem, which is your reputation with yourself, will increase to great heights. You will replace fear with faith.
Be A Confident Listener
One of the first questions I asked people when they said they wanted to take the Dale Carnegie course was – Why do you want to take this course? They answered, “I want to become a better speaker”.
The first things they learn in the course is in order to become a better speaker, you must first be a better listener. Dale Carnegie himself said, “People don’t want to hear what you have to say as much as they want to be listened to.”
In his book, How To Win Friends and Influence People, Carnegie tells the story of going to a dinner party where he sits with a gentlemen and listens to him while he talks about his passion for gardening. Carnegie spoke barely three sentences during an hour of conversation. The man was heard to remark later, that Carnegie was the most brilliant and interesting man he had ever spoken to.
Be The Most Interesting Person They Have Ever Met
Decades ago the editors of Psychology Today Magazine staged an experiment to establish the effects of listening and asking easy, probing questions. Staff members flew to Los Angeles from New York. The editor flew in later, with the intention of getting to know his seat-mate on the five-hour flight. For the duration of the flight, the Psychology Today editor asked questions and listened to his seat-mate. He asked questions based on what he felt his seat-mate wanted to talk more about, and avoided areas he felt he didn’t. His objective during the five hours, was to have the conversation be all about his seat-mate.
Throughout the flight the seat-mate never asked anything about the editor, not even his name.
As the seat-mate disembarked the plane, the staff from Psychology Today was there to interview him. They asked him what he thought about the man seated next to him on the flight (the Psychology Today editor). He responded: “He was the most interesting man I have ever met.”
When they asked, “What was his name?”
His answer was, “I don’t know.”
Listening with confidence and sincerity is the greatest compliment you can give and also the way to build trust and influence with another human being.
Commit to Your Heart’s Desire
This step is a difference maker in becoming unstoppable. It’s about the differences you make for yourself and for others.
“May he grant the desires of your heart and give success to all your plans.” – King David, Psalms 20:4
Anna Mary Robertson was a young farm girl who had a desire to paint. She was told, “Your role in life is to marry a farmer, have children, and make a life by working on the farm with your husband.” Anna Mary did this. In her early twenties she became a mother. In her forties, she became a grandmother. In her sixties, she became a great-grandmother. When she was in her seventies, her husband died and her children were grown and gone to build lives of their own.
Anna Mary’s doctor told her she was too old to continue the back-breaking work on the farm. She decided then, before she died, she would do what she always wanted to do. She went to a town nearby and bought some painting supplies and took a few lessons.
When she returned to the farm, Anna Mary set up her easel behind the barn and began to paint prolifically, at the age of 78. Her paintings became popular. Just before she died at 101 years of age, a major New York gallery had a showing of her work.
In the last ten years of her life, some of her paintings sold for over one hundred thousand dollars, each. Anna Mary, who we now know as Grandma Moses, became the creator of a new, original style of painting American landscapes. One of her paintings, Sugaring Off, was sold in 2006 for $1.2 million.
She made more in one year of her life, as a painter, than she and her husband earned in an entire lifetime of hard work on the farm.
It is estimated that if Grandma Moses had started painting when she was a young girl, as was her “heart’s desire,” she would have become one of the richest women in America.
It is never too late to get started on your heart’s desire but the sooner you do get started, the better.
When you have connected with your Heart’s Desire and you are clear about your purpose, this builds the confidence to get out of bed eagerly every morning and get into action. As Albert Einstein said, “Nothing happens until somebody moves.”
There is no better way to get into action than by setting clear, specific, big audacious goals and then going about the business of accomplishing them.
Set Big Audacious Goals
“Whatever you can do, or believe you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it. Begin it now.” – Goethe
Why not set one big audacious goal today? At the end of this blog is an exercise that will help you to get started. I guarantee you that if you focus on this one goal and start working away at it, all of your other goals will start to get done as well. It will be like a Domino Effect – knock one goal off and the others will start to fall into place.
By becoming clear about your purpose and getting into action to complete your one big goal you will find your confidence growing stronger and stronger every day. This is what John Maxwell calls “The Law of the BIG MO – Momentum”. You will create the momentum to become unstoppable and to re-build your confidence.
Peter had to rebuild his confidence after losing everything. We met at a professional speakers meeting where he approached me after I had given a presentation. He had lost all his material things but he still had his brilliant self. He wanted to get back to that place of unbreakable confidence where he knew that he had everything he needed to create a business and life that he loved, for himself and his wife, and to help others do the same.
We did some work together, and he started on the one goal that he knew would create the domino effect. He started writing about his experiences in Zimbabwe. Every morning at 5 a.m. he sat at his computer writing 1000 words before he started his work on the horse ranch.
He has since published a book about overcoming adversity, Five Steps To Thriving On Adversity, and is now working on two others. His book has led to speaking engagements and workshops. Peter has reclaimed his confidence and he is unstoppable.
Why not set your big audacious goal now?
Try this exercise. Set your phone timer for 2 minutes. Write down 10 goals. Don’t think too much about this. Just start writing. When you have completed the 10 goals, set your timer for 30 seconds. Choose just one goal. Make this goal a priority. Take one action, immediately, to get started on this goal.
Tell me, in the comment below, how this made a difference for you.
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Faith Evan West will show you through the transformative power of coaching exactly how to build your unique unshakeable confidence, be the leader of choice to your ideal people & create the work and lifestyle you want.